Revealing Your Core Purpose: 5 Strategies for Discovering Your Why

Are you feeling unmotivated and struggling to find your purpose in life? You’re not alone. Many of us feel a little overwhelmed by the daily grind of life and sometimes forget how to take happiness from it. But, the good news is that there are tangible steps you can take to discover your purpose and find the motivation to reach your goals. In this blog post, we’ll explore five strategies for discovering your why and reigniting your passion.

Identify the things you love doing. 5 strategies for discovering your why.

Achievers have a knack for getting things done. They’re driven by a clear purpose, know what they’re working toward and have a strong sense of why.

You can tap into the same level of energy simply by uncovering your own purpose. It’s not hard to do. Just explore these five ideas and you’ll be well on your way!

1. Begin with your interests

Is there something you’ve always been passionate about? What activities do you love to do? What do you find yourself thinking about and looking forward to when you’re busy with tasks which don’t require a lot of thought? Usually, your “why” is connected to these things. It can be a direct connection or it can be something that can be weaved in and out of the day to day. For example I’ve always loved learning. When I get a new client I not only get to learn all about them but also learn what’s the latest news and information about the condition they’re coming to me for.

2. Review the past

You have likely had another “Why” or two in your past already. Remember that time when you were excited to start the day and couldn’t wait to dive into a certain project. What was that all about? What was that special “Why” that kept you so motivated? How long did it last? Maybe it’s time to rediscover that “Why” and reignite that passion.

3. Write it down

Taking some time to jot down your thoughts on paper can be a great way to work out your feelings and ideas. Whether it’s exploring old memories or coming up with something new, make sure to take your time and really dive into it. Try setting aside some time every day for a week to journal, then put it away for a few days and come back to it with fresh eyes. What stands out to you now? What sparks your interest the most?

4. Talk to those who know you

Sometimes, it’s helpful to hear from someone who isn’t as close to the situation as you are. A parent, spouse, best friend, or even a co-worker you’ve known for years can offer a fresh perspective and help you see things in a different light. Don’t be afraid to ask them for their opinion – it might be just what you need to gain a new perspective and make a smart decision.

5. Consider your values and beliefs

We all have our own unique set of values and beliefs that shape who we are. Think about those things that have helped form your moral compass. What stirs strong emotions within you? Are there causes that you feel passionate about? What makes you feel frustrated or angry? These could be causes worth fighting for.

When you put the pieces together, something special happens. You start to recognise the connections. Those things that you keep coming back to often contain the answers to the questions you’re searching for. By taking the time to explore your core purpose and uncovering the reasons that you do the things you do, you can tap into a source of energy and enthusiasm that will help you stay motivated and on track. With these five strategies for discovering your why you can find the motivation you need to take on each day with a sense of purpose and direction.

The Silver Lining: 6 Unexpected Benefits of Losing Your Why

When you’ve lost your “Why” it can be a disheartening feeling, but it doesn’t have to be all bad. In fact, there are some unexpected benefits to losing your “Why” that can actually be quite valuable. In this blog post, we’ll explore six of them and how they can help you find your new “Why” and get back on track. So, if you’ve been feeling a bit lost lately, read on to learn more!

What are your core values? 6 unexpected benefits of losing your "why".

From early childhood we find it fairly easy to discover purpose in the things we do. We set goals and dream big dreams almost as easily as we breathe or play with our friends. When someone asks us, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” we have an answer right away. But as we grow, our vision of the future changes and so does our “Why”. What’s not easy is when we lose our original “Why” and don’t have another one ready to take its place.

Though it might not seem it at at the time, losing our “Why” can be a helpful learning experience. If we can open ourselves up to that experience, then these a few of the valuable lessons it can offer us as we begin to construct our new “Why.”

1. You’re still learning

If you’ve lost a “Why,” then maybe it’s because the old one doesn’t quite fit anymore. You’ve probably grown and have a new perspective on yourself and the world around you. Now, it’s time to create a new “Why” to reflect this new you. Take a little time out to ask yourself what new vision you now hold and how you want to incorporate this into your life.

2. You still have your values

Our beliefs, knowledge, and past values shape the moral code we live by. You still have your values but have they changed over time? When making decisions, use these values to help you figure out your new “Why”.

3. Feel the gratitude

Your previous “Why” taught you many things. It opened you up to new people and ideas and it provided you with so much knowledge. You gained so much in the time you held it. It’s reflecting briefly on all of these amazing things you learned and embracing them as something positive that came from your “Why.”

4. Find the takeaway

It’s very possible that your previous “Why” offered some hard lessons . We all take some knocks now and then. Rather than become caught up in feelings of failure or allow yourself to be dragged down by what’s gone, instead look for what you can learn from the experience.

5. Grieve and let go

You might even need to spend some time acknowledging sadness or disappointment at whatever you’ve left undone with your “Why”. Take a moment to recognise the regret that comes with letting go of something that was important to you. It’s OK to feel this way and it’s necessary to move forward.

6. Trust yourself

It’s totally normal to feel a little uncertain when you’re trying to figure out your new “Why”. Self-doubt might even be causing you to question whether you know a good “Why” when you see it. But here’s the thing: you’ve got this. Trust yourself and take the plunge into what’s next. You’ve got the power to make it happen.

Losing your “Why” can be a scary and overwhelming experience, but it can also be a great opportunity to find a new and more meaningful “Why”. By taking the time to reflect on the unexpected benefits of losing your “Why”, you can use them to build a stronger and more purposeful “Why”. So, don’t be afraid to take a step back, learn from the experience, and create a “Why” that you’ll be proud of!

Reclaim Your Passion: 5 Steps to Regaining Your “Why”

We’ve all been there: feeling unmotivated, uninspired and just plain stuck. Whether it’s a project at work, a study assignment or a health goal, a lack of motivation can really put a damper on your progress. But don’t worry – there are ways to get back on track and reclaim your passion. In this blog post, we’ll look at 5 steps to regaining your “why” and getting back to pursuing your goals with enthusiasm and dedication.

Text reads "Understanding your why propels you towards your goals". 5 steps to regaining your "why".

1. Have confidence

When you start to doubt yourself, it can spread like a virus. You start doubting the things you believe in. It’s hard to hold onto your “Why” when you feel like you’re going wrong in other areas of life.

Self-talk is critical to success. When negative thoughts take over, it can all go downhill quickly. The good news is that positive thoughts start to generate positive actions.

Start by being mindful of your thoughts and words and turn any negative comments into positive ones. Do this often enough and it’ll become second nature.

Have confidence in yourself. Believe in your abilities and know that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Don’t let negative thoughts or doubts get in the way of your success. Make a list of your strengths and accomplishments and use it as a reminder of how capable you are.

2. Be clear about what you want

When you’re not entirely clear about what you want in life, it’s easy for you to lose your way. Take a little time to consider your “Why” critically. Is it open to interpretation or vague in some way? Moving forward, take time to craft a personal vision statement, and you’ll know where you’re heading.

3. Break down your goals

There’s nothing wrong with big goals and ambitious ideas when it comes to your “Why,” but they can quickly overwhelm you if you’re not careful. Instead of trying to tackle it all at once, break it down into smaller chunks. If your “Why” is too broad, focus on the core elements for now and you can always add more later. That way, you won’t feel overwhelmed and you can make progress.

4. Take good care of yourself

There’s no way even the best “Why” can carry you through if you’re not getting enough sleep or neglecting your health. Make sure you’re eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep. Having a regular sleep schedule is key to feeling your best and having the energy to put your “Why” into action. Taking care of your health is the foundation for achieving your goals.

5. Have patience

In today’s society of instant gratification we’ve become used to having the things we want now. We don’t want to wait. Quitting because something’s taking too long is a mistake we’ve all made at one point or another. Your “Why” might involve some goals which take a while. If you want to stay motivated and keep your energy levels high, it’s important to keep your big-picture goals in mind. Visualise what you’re working towards and set yourself a timeline so you know when to expect success. That way, you’ll be ready for the long haul.

There you have it, 5 steps to regaining your “why” and getting back on track. It can be difficult to find the motivation to start something new or continue with a project, but these tips can help you get back to your “why”. Don’t forget to take a break and give yourself some time to re-energise. Good luck and don’t give up!

5 Actions to Take When You’re Losing Your Motivation and Passion

Are you feeling stuck in a rut? It happens to the best of us – and it’s not the end of the world. In fact, it’s an opportunity to reconnect with what makes you feel passionate and inspired. Here are five actions you can take when you feel like you’re losing your motivation and sense of purpose.

Text reads "Finding your why provides purpose, passion and pleasure. 5 actions to take when you're losing your motivation and passion.

We’ve all been there. One morning you wake up dragging a little bit. The next, you hit the snooze alarm. Twice. The day looms in front of you, and all you see is the to-do list you have leftover from yesterday, with more additions at the end, making it seem as though you’re just running in place, forever going nowhere. Life has become strained. Stressful. Dull.

What happened to our “Why”?

When you’re feeling like you’ve hit a wall and your goals just don’t seem to be enough anymore, it’s time to take action. Maybe you’ve been dealing with too many roadblocks or you’ve been stuck in the same routine for too long. Whatever the case, it’s time to get back on track. So how do you do it? Here are 5 actionable steps to help you:

  1. Take a reality check
  2. Put failure in its place
  3. Review recent steps
  4. Remember the vision
  5. Do the next right thing

Let’s briefly dip into each in turn.

Take a Reality Check

It’s easy to look back on the past with rose-tinted glasses, but don’t forget that life wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows. You might need a small reality check. You’ve had your share of ups and downs before, with both good days and bad days. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re going through a rough patch. There’s no need to panic, just take a deep breath and keep on going.

Put Failure in its Place

It’s natural to feel down when something doesn’t go your way. But it’s important to remember that it’s only a moment in time. Take a step back and learn from the experience, then get back up. Don’t let a setback keep you from achieving your goals.

Review Recent Steps

Are you still heading in the right direction? It’s easy to lose our way when we do something that goes against our core values or strays from our goals. Examine your last steps and see if you can pinpoint where things started to go off track.

Remember the Vision

Take a moment to reflect on your “Why.” Remember when you felt passionate and motivated about this? Revisit the thought process and see if you tap back into that energy and excitement.

Do the Next Right Thing

The important thing is to keep moving. When your enthusiasm is waning and it’s hard to get motivated, don’t try to create a huge to-do list. The key here is not to overwhelm yourself with a massive game plan. Instead, focus only on the next logical step. Don’t let yourself get stuck – keep pushing forward, even if it’s just a little bit. That’s the key to maintaining progress.

Finding your sense of purpose in life can be a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be. Take the time to reflect on what’s important to you. By paying attention to what you’re doing and considering your next moves with intentionality, you can get back on the path to a meaningful and fulfilling life. If you’re losing your motivation, these five actions will help you recover your sense of purpose and get back on track.

Reclaim Your Power: Respecting Yourself with Boundaries

Love, joy, and happiness – these are the feelings we all strive for. But then there’s stress, anxiety, and depression – not so great. So how do we get more of the good and less of the bad? Boundaries! Setting boundaries in our lives can help us get more of the positive and less of the negative. In this article, we will explore how to reclaim your power by respecting yourself with boundaries.

Text reads "Ignoring your boundaries is betraying yourself". Reclaim your power: respecting yourself with boundaries.

Maybe you don’t have any hard-and-fast boundaries or limits. A lot of people don’t. They will have things they like and don’t like. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, and everyone’s values and feelings are unique. It’s all good.

If these things aren’t clearly expressed and shared with the people you love though, you can’t then blame them if they do something that crosses an unstated or undefined line. Let’s be honest – it’s on you to ensure your loved ones know what’s okay and what’s not.

You need to love and respect yourself enough to set up clear boundaries with the people around you. It’s essential for a healthy relationship with yourself and with others.

Understand that you have a right to feel the way you do.

Sometimes we don’t like to talk about boundaries with the people we care about. We don’t want to hurt their feelings,. They might misunderstand what we’re trying to do. So we keep quiet. We might drop hints here and there about things that bother us. No need to have a full-blown conversation about it. But then how do those that love us know what’s important to us?

Do you ever find it hard to stick to your own boundaries? Do you find you’re constantly running late, and it’s impacting your ability to get the important stuff done? Perhaps, your health is suffering too. These things can happen because you’re so focused on making other people happy that you don’t take care of yourself.

This is a situation where you need to have a conversation with yourself.

Whether you need to establish clear and specific limits with others or with that person looking back at you from your mirror, don’t look at this as an act of anger or punishment. It’s just you telling yourself that you’re worthwhile. You matter. The things you think about are important. Your feelings are of the highest importance. Don’t forget that. It’s time to take care of you.

Remind yourself that you’re happy to be who you are. Make it a daily habit to check in with yourself and give yourself a pep talk. It’s a great way to boost your confidence and set yourself up for success.

You have so many reasons to be thankful for the incredible life you lead. You are one of a kind, a special being that only comes around once in a lifetime. That’s something to be celebrated. You bring a lot to the table and you should take a moment to recognize and appreciate that.

Embrace a new mindset and start setting healthy boundaries. They’re essential for both you and the people in your life. Make sure to communicate clearly and concisely – it’s a sign of how much you value yourself. Don’t be wishy-washy – be direct and let everyone know you mean business. This is a declaration to yourself and others that you have a lot of self-respect.

You love yourself and are establishing boundaries that help you become the healthiest, most fulfilled person you can be. Some people won’t respect your boundaries. That’s okay. They’re letting you know how they feel about you. Others will applaud you for standing up for yourself with healthy boundaries; those are the people you want in your life.

Setting boundaries is an important part of loving and respecting yourself. It can be hard to do, but it’s worth it in the end. It’s a way of communicating to others that you value yourself and your time. By being assertive and setting boundaries, you can create healthier relationships and a healthier life. Remember, you are in control of your life. So take the time to communicate with others and follow up by respecting yourself with boundaries and reclaim your power.

Defining Your Boundaries for Better Mental Health

Do you ever feel like you’re constantly giving and giving, but not getting anything in return? Setting boundaries is a great way to take back some control in your life and promote better mental health and wellness. In this blog post, we’ll discuss the three types of boundaries you can set to reclaim your power and take back your life. Read on to learn more about how defining your boundaries can benefit your mental health and wellbeing.

Text reads "No! is a complete sentence". Defining your boundaries for better mental heath.

When you draw a line in the sand and tell people not to cross it, you are clearly making a statement. You’re telling people what you consider yours and not yours. Use virtual boundaries to declare your personal space. They can be applied to emotions, finances, relationships, and much more. They make it clear what’s off-limits.

If you’ve been following this series from the start then you’ll know how important it is to set boundaries in life. But did you know that research has actually shown that doing so has a variety of benefits? From improved relationships to increased focus, here are a few reasons why you should consider putting some limits in place.

  • Your mental health gets a boost. So do your self-image and self-respect.
  • Communication skills improve.
  • People with boundaries have fewer emotional outbursts. You’re less angry.
  • You become a better partner, a better friend, and a better family member.
  • The person who sets boundaries practices more self-care than someone who doesn’t.
  • You enjoy less stress and anxiety and more peace of mind.
  • Boundaries help you prioritise your life. You find yourself doing more things that you actually want to do.

All those incredible rewards come from simply respecting yourself. You love yourself enough to say, “Here are my priorities. Here is what I will accept and what I won’t accept from myself and from others.” Show yourself some love and you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

If you’re looking to reap the rewards of establishing healthy boundaries in your life, there are three main areas to focus on. From the way you communicate to the way you spend your time, setting limits can bring a wealth of positive changes.

  1. Mental Boundaries – These are your thoughts, opinions, beliefs, needs, and values.
  2. Emotional Boundaries – Your feelings, decisions, and choices.
  3. Physical Boundaries – Your personal space.

When it comes to expressing your opinion, you’re displaying a mental boundary. Showing others that you value your personal space is important. If someone encroaches on that space, make sure to let them know that it won’t be tolerated. It’s also important to establish emotional boundaries with your friends and family. Doing so will help ensure that your relationships remain healthy and respectful.

Start saying “no” more often. Prioritise your life before the needs of others taking advantage of you. Have a heart-to-heart with the people you care about and let them know how you feel and what you value. You’ll enjoy more peace and tranquility, less stress, and healthier relationships when your boundaries are respected. So don’t be afraid to speak up!

It’s important to remember that setting boundaries is an ongoing process. You may have to adjust and refine them as you go. But, by defining your boundaries and sticking to them, you can take control of your mental health and wellness. With a little practice, you’ll be able to create a safe and healthy space for yourself that will help you to thrive.

Defining Your Limits: Why Boundaries Are Essential for Relationships

We all know how great it feels to be in a relationship with someone you love and trust. But sometimes, things can get a little too close for comfort. That’s why it’s so important to establish boundaries in our relationships. By setting clear limits, we can ensure that our relationships remain healthy and balanced. In this article, we’ll explore why boundaries are essential for relationships, and how to create and maintain them. So, let’s get started!

Text reads "Don't apologise for setting boundaries". Part of an article on why boundaries are essential for relationships.

We all know someone who just can’t seem to stay within the lines. Maybe they weren’t aware of the boundaries in the first place, or maybe they just don’t care. Either way, it’s important to make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to what’s appropriate and what’s not. Otherwise, it’s a recipe for disaster.

Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves and others. They help us define what’s acceptable and what’s not, and provide a framework for how we interact with one another.  Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines a boundary as:

Something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.

We clearly mark boundaries on our maps. You can tell where one county, state, or country ends and another begins. We use boundary lines to denote ownership of land. But boundaries aren’t just physical.

We also have virtual boundaries that we can’t see, like when we’re out in public and we give strangers their personal space. It’s an unspoken rule that we all understand, and it’s an important one to remember!

Boundaries in relationships are important. Unfortunately, some people don’t set clear limits with their friends, partners, family, and colleagues. This can lead to chaos, stress, confusion, and hurt feelings.

Boundaries Are Meant to Keep the Peace

Without clearly defined lines on our roads and motorways, traffic chaos would be the norm. Painted lines, traffic signs, traffic lights, and blinking roadway signs let you know where you can and can’t go. They’re a navigation system, helping us stay safe and reach your destination with a lot less stress and anxiety. You actually end up getting there much quicker than if you didn’t have these instructions, borders, and boundaries.

That’s exactly why you need boundaries in your life.

Borders, boundaries, and lines in the sand let people know where you end, and they begin. They can help us make sense of our lives and give us an added sense of security. By being clear about our limits, we can move through life with a greater sense of peace and clarity.

Feeling overwhelmed and out of control is a common issue for adults in today’s world. Establishing boundaries can help you and those around you stay in control by defining what behaviours are acceptable and which ones are not. Hopefully you’re getting the idea of why boundaries are essential for relationships. You owe it to yourself and the people you care about to communicate the boundaries you need in your life.

How to Handle People That Overstep Your Boundaries

If you live your life trying to make other people happy, not only will you not succeed, you are likely to end up miserable. That’s because it’s absolutely impossible to make everyone you encounter happy, all of the time. You might have a good run for a day or two, generating nothing but smiles on the faces of the people you run into. Eventually though, you’re going to irritate someone or have them angry at you. So how do you handle people that overstep your boundaries?

Much of the time, the problem is with the other person, not with something you did or said.

Some people out there are just looking for any excuse to be negative. They may have “got out of bed on the wrong side” as my Gran used to say. You might have accidentally said or done something that set them off. You may simply have reminded them of someone else that upset them some time. But some people will find a reason to be negative no matter what.

They might tell you that you offended them in some way. They might keep pushing and prodding, trying to get you to cave and agree with them, just to make them shut up. People like this have no problem crossing your boundaries. When you stand your ground and let them know they’re acting inappropriately according to your values, they just get louder.

Instead of letting them cross any boundaries you’ve set, remember this.

“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.” – President Abraham Lincoln

When somebody is being difficult and won’t respect your boundaries, don’t react right away. That’s what they want. Take a step back and collect yourself. Even if you’re feeling like you’re about to lose it, don’t give in. Find a way to get your emotions in check. Take a few deep breaths and regain control of your emotions.

If you find yourself in a tense situation with a stranger, it’s best to remove yourself from the situation. But if it’s a friend or someone you care about, it’s worth reaching out. Be clear and direct about what’s bothering you, but also let them know how much they mean to you. A casual conversation can go a long way in resolving any issues.

Let them know that this is a line they can’t cross and that you’re not backtracking or allowing the situation to be repeated in the future. The people who love and care about you will respect what you say. If they don’t, maybe it’s time to reevaluate how much time you spend with them.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that you cannot make everyone happy. Setting boundaries and sticking to them is key to protecting your own wellbeing and happiness. If someone oversteps your boundaries, don’t be afraid to speak up and let them know that their behaviour is not okay. It’s okay to be assertive and put your own needs first.

Caring for Yourself and Others: Setting Boundaries with Compassion

We all know that relationships can be hard work. Did you know that setting boundaries can be an important part of making them work? It may sound counterintuitive, but having clear boundaries in our relationships can help us to create stronger, more meaningful connections with the people we care about. In this blog post, we’ll explore how setting boundaries with compassion can help us to nurture our relationships. Ultimately, that can lead us to a healthier and happier life.

Text reads "Never be afraid to let people know your limits." Part of setting boundaries with compassion.

Living with someone else can be tricky. When you share a home with a spouse, a roommate, or your parents, it’s important to be clear about everyone’s responsibilities. For example, if you have a roommate who’s not the tidiest person around, it can be hard to talk to them about it without hurting their feelings. You’ve probably already had the conversation a few times, with no luck. Instead of having the same argument again, you decide to just take on the responsibility of cleaning up after them. It’s a kind gesture, but it’s important to remember that everyone should be held accountable for their own mess.

That scenario is a ticking time bomb that threatens the relationship.

Boundaries are good. They let everyone know what is and isn’t expected of them. Without borders and limits in our lives, chaos would reign.

Setting boundaries and expressing your limits is a great way to take control of your life. Showing others that you care enough to let them know what you value and what you won’t accept is a sign of respect. Open up to people who you want in your life. Let them know that your relationship is important enough for you to be clear about what you won’t tolerate. This kind of emotional self-care can have a positive effect on how you view yourself.

You can be proud that you respect yourself enough to set boundaries for others.

You can also set boundaries for yourself. For example, you can opt for just one glass of wine after dinner, or limit yourself to fast food just once a week. You can also commit to cutting down on cigarettes, reducing the amount you smoke each day until you’re able to quit for good.

In every one of those situations, you need to talk with the person you’re setting boundaries for.

If it’s yourself you’re talking to, remind yourself that this is a positive thing you’re doing. Don’t apologise for wanting to make healthier choices with your eating habits. When cravings come up and you’re tempted to give into an unhealthy meal, keep this conversation with yourself going.

When you share your boundaries with others, make sure to let them know that your goal is to foster a healthier and stronger relationship. Don’t let anyone trample on your values and beliefs – especially if it’s someone you care about. If someone isn’t willing to respect your boundaries, it may be time to step away from the relationship.

When it comes to setting boundaries in relationships, it’s important to remember that it’s not only about protecting yourself. It’s also about caring for others. Setting boundaries with compassion helps us to fulfil our needs and the needs of those around us. By being mindful of our limits, we can create more meaningful relationships that foster mutual respect and understanding. So take some time to reflect on your boundaries, and don’t be afraid to practice self-care and set limits with kindness.

How to Get Over the Guilt of Setting Boundaries

Setting and maintaining boundaries in your life is a mental wellness practice. It’s a form of self-care. There are often certain individuals, situations, and activities that can take you to a negative place. You don’t need that in your life. It’s important to find ways to get over the guilt of setting boundaries so that you can reduce the stress in your life. Everyone is entitled to experience happiness and peace of mind.

Text saying "If you don't set boundaries, people will take advantage". Get over the guilt of setting boundaries.

Setting healthy boundaries is all about creating the best life experience. They speak about your values and the things that are important to you.

They’re a way of putting your needs first, and that’s okay.

It is not your responsibility if other people take on too much. If you have a friend who is constantly overloaded, you might want to help every now and then. If that person repeatedly comes to you for help though, then you need to take a stand.

This person could be a friend or coworker. It might even be someone in your household. Whatever the case, this person either intentionally or unconsciously takes advantage of you. That has to stop.

You can’t have a healthy relationship if you constantly feel resentful towards the other person. You’ll start feeling this way because your values and responsibilities get put on the back burner. Their needs are always first.

 If you don’t set clear boundaries that stop this type of behaviour, they can start expecting it of you.

Before you know it, they will deliberately push their personal responsibilities aside. They know you’re going to be there to bail them out. Then, the one time you say you can’t help, they’ll flip out over it! Ever had that happen? Me too!

Clear communication can help prevent this happening (again).

Discuss your boundaries when both of you are emotionally cool and collected. Explain to them that you want them in your life but that certain things will have to change. If this person genuinely values you, they’ll understand.

There’s going to be a transition period, a healing time that needs to take place. Behaviours rarely change overnight. So after clearly defining what boundary you’re setting, forgive the offender if they overstep some borders once in a while. When they do, explain how you feel and the boundary they haven’t respected.

After a time, and if the person has respected your boundaries, show them you appreciate it. Take them for a meal or buy them a gift. You can also say thank you. This positive reinforcement can make that person want to respect your boundaries in the future. Positive reinforcement applies to you too and you can get over the guilt of setting new boundaries.